Okay they aren’t really. But that is how it always feels when a REAL LIFE friend reads my blog. I mean, I got no secrets. I don’t. It’s ALL out there. Trust. However, I was a different person three years ago. And yes the archives go that far back. Further by now. Do I really want folks prying that deep that I see on a regular basis face to face? Weird, right? Who thinks of these things? But it happens…
You have to understand. My blog started at a time when I had no friends outside of work. Well, I had a few, but you see what I am saying. I had whittled my social circle to a very select few. (Granted, it was on purpose.. but still) I blogged to get my shit out there. I missed the socializing, I was jealous of the folks I saw online with this semi-anonymous outlet of fabulousness. So I got one. Sure over time, and not as much time as you’d think, I had a handful of online friends. It was cool. Safe. I’d never be face to face with these people, right? So I could continue to write about anything. The guy at the gyms BO, or the slut on the BART train, or my boss, even my boyfriend. Anything went! It was all good. But the more time you spend on this amazing place we call the internet, the more entwined with your life it gets. At least in my experience. My blog has given me an amazing gift. Real friends. I have actually met real people through this silly site of mine! Moving is the biggest example tho. Uprooting my whole life to San Diego was not easy. I lived in the same area for most of my life. I was comfortable. When I moved, my online life became more important. These online folks where the only folks I knew! When I got to San Diego and already had a few connections I felt lucky. Heck, I knew Fred before I got here! The blog and me started to become one. Not creepy like, but because it was no longer a separate outlet. It was reality. It was where I lived with my new real-ish and actual friends.
I lately find myself in a new situation. I have been here long enough, and the branches of the first friendships have grown into new friends. But now I am a ‘blogger’. Folks know this about me, due to my roots in this town (total drama phrasing, but how else do I describe it?), they meet me, then my blog. My Richard has a blog now too! We are both online with our life! Thus, my title and issue. My panties are showing. People I know in REAL LIFE are going to my blog and jumping into the dp.com time machine. Reading me. It’s a bit intimate all of a sudden. Does that make sense? I don’t know if I like it. I mean, the front page is fine. I think, looking at my posts lately, that I am filtering. Heck, I may as well send my folks the URL, I am so filtered… Not that that is a good thing. I know. The beauty is the lack of a filter. I get that. That’s why I have the members only content. BUT I now have REAL LIFE folks as members too. And how do you exclude those folks, that can question you during dinner about your latest hidden post??
I don’t know. Where am I going with this? What is my point? If hundreds and thousands of people I never met have access to my insanity, why not 10 folks I actually know and can touch? What is the difference? The folks I know won’t (or had better not!) judge. I am the type of person they keep company with after all. Heh. I guess I just got spoiled with it being a separate place in my life. Now dp.com is pretty close to home.
What do you think? Should I try to separate the blog from life, or go forward from here and embrace the change?
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