All I wanted was my dry cleaning. I was dropping off, as well as picking up. I go to the same place all the time. It’s handy. Right next to my grocery store. I think I need a new place… Anyway, so I walk in and one of the usual young gals greets me. Not the pretty one, but the other one. So she steps over to the counter and starts to like process my transaction. How many, laundry or dry clean, etc. All pretty normal. But then she suddenly looked a bit pained and hammered at her chest. “Excuse me! I am not used to drinking Sprite.” Okay, ew. Gross. But I tried to be nice and chuckled. Wrong move on my part. She began to talk about how she once burped totally loud in front of a customer and had to ‘pretend’ to be embarrassed and like lady-like, but she really wasn’t cause it ‘felt so good’.

Oh. My. Gaaawd.

So there I am, trapped as she goes on about her gas issues. “Sometimes when I am sitting at home I just totally let it out. I don’t care which end it comes out, it all feels so good.” Wait, lemme repeat that in bold, for effect: “I don’t care which end it comes out, it all feels so good”. At this point I was convinced the place smelled funny. It was so hard to be polite and ignore the whole thing. Cause that is what I usually do when someone, even close friends say inappropriate things. I ignore it and change the subject. No, this time I wanted only to leave. But I was a bit trapped. Thank god they always keep the door propped open. Heh, now I know why!

How to I find these people?

tagged: laundry ew grocery gas fart dry cleaner gross gal burp

daniel · the wee hours · 2 comments · ping it