So I had to go to the grocery after work. I tell you that Ralphs is a whole different place at the after work hour. It’s all packed and junk! Ew. Anyway, I had to get a few things for dinner. We were going to have Taco Salad. Mmm. Good, but it was the second night in a row. Healthy eating is tough yo. At any rate, most of what I needed was in the produce section, so I moseyed over. I selected my avocado, radishes, and mushrooms. Next up was the green onions. As I grabbed a plastic bag to put them in I distinctly heard a pucker noise, like you make when you kiss someone. I looked around, but there was only me and this kinda jock looking guy in a wind suit in that section. He was apparently focused on the pepper selection, so I figured it was just me going crazy or some other random thing. Weird. I made my way across the busy store to my next stop. People sure are dressed nice for the shopping at that hour! I guess it’s cause we all came from work. As I pass the aisles I like to look down them to see if I remember needing anything. As I looked down ‘personal care’ I saw this stocky guy in some kind of uniform who looked like he was sorta stroking his… erm, crotch area as he gazed at the shelves. Oh. I looked away and hurried over to the chips… A Taco Salad is not right without a bit of tortilla chips crumbled in, healthy eating or not! My last selection made I bee lined to the express lane. All the other were like 5 deep, but at my moment there was no one but the gal being rung up in the 10 items or less lane! My joy was quickly stifled as I realized that the cashier was MIA. It took just a moment to see him rushing back with a pack of cigarettes. Well at least that was done, right? Wait, the gal is shaking her head. He got the wrong kind. Yep, she sent him back. It seemed she wanted the Ultra-lights but NOT menthol. Hrm. Taking longer this time, he must have been reading every label to double check, he finally came back. Nope, wrong again. Forgot SLIMS. ‘Oh my gaaawd’ (and I said that OUT LOUD.. Oops!) She looked back at the now 12 people in line and cutely shrugged, “Sorry...” I looked at her with with what I hoped were daggers that would cause pain. ‘Stupid dirty habit that will kill you anyway. You’ll get yours. Hoor.’

I didn’t really say that, but I totally thought it. In the meantime, as I turned to look at how many of us were now waiting, I noticed that the crotch stroker had gotten in line behind me. Wow. He had on mascara or something! He was practically standing on top of me too. I did a double take due to the proximity combined with the make up. He was so close and looked at me at the same time. From then on, as we all waited for smoker hoor to move it along (she HAD to pay in exact change too, just to piss us off even more) every time I even tried to look around he was looking at me. And he was so close. I never did figure what outfit he had on… I was distracted by a scene of actual severe rudeness taking place at the next checkout. Cutting line like that, serves her right the cashier ignored her!

Finally my turn came up, I was using debit, so it took like moments to get me through the process. On my way out I was looking at all the over 10 item folks and their long lines, wondering if the actually were moving faster. I saw the jock in the wind suit waiting. He was watching me.

Creepy. Not only was I annoyed by the whole process, I was a bit freaked out by the cruisey-ness going on, especially towards me. That shit never happens anymore! I guess I really did look pretty amazing today after all!

tagged: grocery hoor crotch bad service smoker taco salad 10 items or less
  relieved to be home

daniel · late at night · 6 comments · ping it