We were shopping fools yesterday. And not the good kind of shopping. More like those errands that were put off because we were playing all weekend. Although we did make the mistake of setting foot into Ikea and left with a houseplant, festive napkins, 2 enormous fake sunflowers, and the tea light candles we went in for. LOL, right? After that we did penance at Target. You know, all those things we go to Target for… Oh, and Richard found some furniture he’d like to put outside on the patio to replace our lawn chairs! Sadly, due to Target’s not wanting to sell ‘floor models’ we weren’t able to procure said outdoor furniture. Richard did however collect everyone’s name and plans to contact the DM. Exciting! Then it was off to the Ralph’s for some much needed foodstuff. We work the next 6 days straight and no one wants to be running off to the grocery… It was there that we saw the Sauce Goddess! Her shirt was delightfully sassy so I asked her to pose for a photo. She was cute! The sauce she was demoing was pretty good too. We picked up a jar, but really we just wanted the shirts!! Will be ordering soon…

After all the excitement, and looking ahead at a very busy work-weekend I decided we should forgo the Blogger Meetup.  It would have been fun to go, but I really needed a quiet night in. Besides the huge Tweet-Up is just around the corner. We won’t be missing that one.

All in all it was a good day off. But ow, my wallet! Still sore! Heh!

tagged: day off grocery target errands ikea ralph's

daniel · terribly early · say it · ping it

All I wanted was my dry cleaning. I was dropping off, as well as picking up. I go to the same place all the time. It’s handy. Right next to my grocery store. I think I need a new place… Anyway, so I walk in and one of the usual young gals greets me. Not the pretty one, but the other one. So she steps over to the counter and starts to like process my transaction. How many, laundry or dry clean, etc. All pretty normal. But then she suddenly looked a bit pained and hammered at her chest. “Excuse me! I am not used to drinking Sprite.” Okay, ew. Gross. But I tried to be nice and chuckled. Wrong move on my part. She began to talk about how she once burped totally loud in front of a customer and had to ‘pretend’ to be embarrassed and like lady-like, but she really wasn’t cause it ‘felt so good’.

Oh. My. Gaaawd.

So there I am, trapped as she goes on about her gas issues. “Sometimes when I am sitting at home I just totally let it out. I don’t care which end it comes out, it all feels so good.” Wait, lemme repeat that in bold, for effect: “I don’t care which end it comes out, it all feels so good”. At this point I was convinced the place smelled funny. It was so hard to be polite and ignore the whole thing. Cause that is what I usually do when someone, even close friends say inappropriate things. I ignore it and change the subject. No, this time I wanted only to leave. But I was a bit trapped. Thank god they always keep the door propped open. Heh, now I know why!

How to I find these people? 

tagged: people laundry grocery ew gas fart dry cleaner gross gal burp

daniel · the wee hours · 2 comments · ping it

Clearly I am a domestic goddess. Well, god actually. Either way, I have done grocery shopping, I have laundry going, and I just took a cake out of the oven. In just a bit I will be making dinner. I rock! I also called my mom, but she didn’t answer. I am all family-domestic today!

Just so you know, it is a low sugar cake that I am trying out. I have found that the most effective weight loss trick for me was to cut out sugar, so I am looking to find ways to have all the normal things I like in a low sugar form. Sheesh! I sound like I have one hell of a sweet tooth. I don’t actually, but I enjoy baking things and having dessert on occasion. Most of my sugar was in the red wine I love so much… and the types of packaged foods I brought for lunch (you’d think yogurt was harmless...) So anyhoo, whatever it takes. I was up to a 40 inch waist on my pants and now I am almost ready to explore the world of 36. I think I can handle no/low sugar along with my usual low fat.

Okay, I gotta create a meal. Richard isn’t home yet, but I don’t wanna eat too late. Besides, we’ve been arguing all day anyway. I can eat on my own. 

tagged: richard mom laundry pants grocery cake baking dessert   meh

daniel · early evening · say it · ping it

Actually the internet came back to me just in time for bedtime, so I got back on the iChat, bid goodnight to any of my lingering peeps and off to bed I went. I slept in super late today too. Richard rarely sleeps in, so when he does I stay in bed too. It’s cozy like that!

Today is just a big ol’ day of chores. We have been working the last 6 days so the house is in just a tiny bit of disarray. I have finished a lot of it, but I still have to vacuum, change the bed, and empty all the trash cans. I really wanted to get my car washed today too. The weather just looks too questionable though. Probably should skip that. Then we have to go to 2 different grocery stores. Is that normal to have to go to more than one store? I understand going to the grocery and to Target. Two actual groceries seems odd. But we are odd. I gues it is about right then. Heh. 

tagged: richard internet sleep chores grocery target

daniel · lunch time · say it · ping it

So I had to go to the grocery after work. I tell you that Ralphs is a whole different place at the after work hour. It’s all packed and junk! Ew. Anyway, I had to get a few things for dinner. We were going to have Taco Salad. Mmm. Good, but it was the second night in a row. Healthy eating is tough yo. At any rate, most of what I needed was in the produce section, so I moseyed over. I selected my avocado, radishes, and mushrooms. Next up was the green onions. As I grabbed a plastic bag to put them in I distinctly heard a pucker noise, like you make when you kiss someone. I looked around, but there was only me and this kinda jock looking guy in a wind suit in that section. He was apparently focused on the pepper selection, so I figured it was just me going crazy or some other random thing. Weird. I made my way across the busy store to my next stop. People sure are dressed nice for the shopping at that hour! I guess it’s cause we all came from work. As I pass the aisles I like to look down them to see if I remember needing anything. As I looked down ‘personal care’ I saw this stocky guy in some kind of uniform who looked like he was sorta stroking his… erm, crotch area as he gazed at the shelves. Oh. I looked away and hurried over to the chips… A Taco Salad is not right without a bit of tortilla chips crumbled in, healthy eating or not! My last selection made I bee lined to the express lane. All the other were like 5 deep, but at my moment there was no one but the gal being rung up in the 10 items or less lane! My joy was quickly stifled as I realized that the cashier was MIA. It took just a moment to see him rushing back with a pack of cigarettes. Well at least that was done, right? Wait, the gal is shaking her head. He got the wrong kind. Yep, she sent him back. It seemed she wanted the Ultra-lights but NOT menthol. Hrm. Taking longer this time, he must have been reading every label to double check, he finally came back. Nope, wrong again. Forgot SLIMS. ‘Oh my gaaawd’ (and I said that OUT LOUD.. Oops!) She looked back at the now 12 people in line and cutely shrugged, “Sorry...” I looked at her with with what I hoped were daggers that would cause pain. ‘Stupid dirty habit that will kill you anyway. You’ll get yours. Hoor.’

I didn’t really say that, but I totally thought it. In the meantime, as I turned to look at how many of us were now waiting, I noticed that the crotch stroker had gotten in line behind me. Wow. He had on mascara or something! He was practically standing on top of me too. I did a double take due to the proximity combined with the make up. He was so close and looked at me at the same time. From then on, as we all waited for smoker hoor to move it along (she HAD to pay in exact change too, just to piss us off even more) every time I even tried to look around he was looking at me. And he was so close. I never did figure what outfit he had on… I was distracted by a scene of actual severe rudeness taking place at the next checkout. Cutting line like that, serves her right the cashier ignored her!

Finally my turn came up, I was using debit, so it took like moments to get me through the process. On my way out I was looking at all the over 10 item folks and their long lines, wondering if the actually were moving faster. I saw the jock in the wind suit waiting. He was watching me.

Creepy. Not only was I annoyed by the whole process, I was a bit freaked out by the cruisey-ness going on, especially towards me. That shit never happens anymore! I guess I really did look pretty amazing today after all!

tagged: grocery hoor crotch bad service smoker taco salad 10 items or less   relieved to be home

daniel · late at night · 6 comments · ping it

So I’m at the grocery (day before Easter, bad idea, I know). There was this man there with his kid. He had him in one of those giant carts that has a little car thing on the front for the children to play in. First of all, hi, that thing barely fits down the aisle in the crowded store. Let alone turning it around…

Anyway, I felt really bad for the guy. This kid was a BRAT. An all caps BRAT! He was constantly reaching out, knocking crap over. Whenever the cart stopped he was trying to escape. The poor man was trying so hard to control him and get the shopping done, how could ya not feel for him?

So we finish in the store and are driving out of the lot when we see the man again. He was wheeling that cart to his car. I noticed that he had a case of beer. I said to Richard “With a kid like that he should’ve got two cases of beer.”

Okay, I guess you had to be there…

There was another guy calling his wife to let her know he'd be longer than he thought. He had lost his cart and had to start over. He was trying to tell her someone took it. Looser!

tagged: grocery beer brat

daniel · early evening · 4 comments · ping it