All I wanted was my dry cleaning. I was dropping off, as well as picking up. I go to the same place all the time. It’s handy. Right next to my grocery store. I think I need a new place… Anyway, so I walk in and one of the usual young gals greets me. Not the pretty one, but the other one. So she steps over to the counter and starts to like process my transaction. How many, laundry or dry clean, etc. All pretty normal. But then she suddenly looked a bit pained and hammered at her chest. “Excuse me! I am not used to drinking Sprite.” Okay, ew. Gross. But I tried to be nice and chuckled. Wrong move on my part. She began to talk about how she once burped totally loud in front of a customer and had to ‘pretend’ to be embarrassed and like lady-like, but she really wasn’t cause it ‘felt so good’.

Oh. My. Gaaawd.

So there I am, trapped as she goes on about her gas issues. “Sometimes when I am sitting at home I just totally let it out. I don’t care which end it comes out, it all feels so good.” Wait, lemme repeat that in bold, for effect: “I don’t care which end it comes out, it all feels so good”. At this point I was convinced the place smelled funny. It was so hard to be polite and ignore the whole thing. Cause that is what I usually do when someone, even close friends say inappropriate things. I ignore it and change the subject. No, this time I wanted only to leave. But I was a bit trapped. Thank god they always keep the door propped open. Heh, now I know why!

How to I find these people? 

tagged: people laundry grocery ew gas fart dry cleaner gross gal burp

daniel · the wee hours · 2 comments · ping it

I am not trying to be sacrilegious really, but how else do I give you a vivid picture of my injury?

You see, I was at work when a rather stupid move on my part caused a very heavy metal object to land in my palm. I now have a deep puncture/scrape combo in the center of my hand. I don’t think I need stitches. It didn’t appear that deep when it was fresh. However it is in the middle of my right palm on that part that moves if I erm.. do anything with my hand. I am right handed. So it has been pretty constantly open and hard to keep clean, although I suspect it was better off before I tried to peroxide it. Now it’s kinda runny. And dark looking.  Ew. I know, but it adds to the whole stigmata effect. I have to stop calling it that. I really can’t go around saying “be careful of my stigmata” at work every time I go to shake a hand or give a high five (which I do way more often that you think I would..). Jeez. Even typing irritates my stigmata. Srsly. It hurts!

Okay, I really have to stop calling it that. 

tagged: work ew clean hole stigmata my stigmata palm injury

daniel · the wee hours · 3 comments · ping it

Did you see that? Did a tumbleweed just blow through? Can’t be. It’s winter! Even here in San Diego! But I do have to admit, it has been quiet in this place. I swear, every time I sit down to chat with you all, or type something interesting I just find that I am too tired. Tired and burnt out. To tell you the truth, no matter how ‘easy’ I claim my December to be, it is always the same as far as mental burnout. Something about the holidays, or winter, or my birthday. Something about the whole thing just makes me tired. Plus I hate this month.

Anyhoo. So yeah. Hi! I missed you all. I am sorry for all the link-tastic content. And the You Tubes. How has your December been? Really, I want to know. Does it kinda suck for the non-retail folk too? It has to. I mean unless you are independently wealthy with a staff of your own, I cannot imagine December to be one of the ‘fun’ months. Like July. I love July! It has to be my favorite! And I don’t even like the heat so much! Well, I like it better than I did. Something about a convertible in San Diego made me see the light on that one. So what else? Why was I here up in your face for today? *thinks* .. Hrm. I dunno. I really don’t have a lot to talk about since I am like 90 percent at work lately. I could tell you stories about that but I think we all know the gist of what goes on… selfish, self-important, slobbish, rude, messy.. you know. You see it when you shop!

So, did you know it’s my birthday tomorrow? Srsly. In like 15 minutes I will have aged one more year, officially. I hate that shit. Oddly enough, this year I had to go in to the DMV for the license renewal bit. New picture and prints, right? Well I went thru the whole procedure. I followed all the steps correctly. What did I get in the mail today? My new Driver License. I look like a bloated lesbian. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But still. Talk aboot fugly. I am contemplating pretending I never got it for a re-take photo. I am quite sure I do not look like that. And I think the photo is too cropped. You cannot even see my hawt new Levi’s. I look good in those!

But enough about that. I was talking about my birthday. It’s tomorrow. But at work they got it into their head to do a singing thing today. Why? I do not know. It was clearly last minute. I don’t eat cake. They got nachos. Would have been fine, but they got beef on them. I don’t eat beef. Ever. Then it turned out to not be beef nachos but carne asada fries. Basically like a nacho but with fries instead of chips. Ew. Kinda gross. But they sang. I served them the fries I wouldn’t eat. Weird. It was all kinda uncomfortable. I do appreciate the gesture tho. I hate having a December birthday. It sucks more than one would think. Every year. Even my parents couldn’t even get a good birthday gig for me that time of year. And, any gift had holiday wrap. Or comics. What the hell with the comic pages? Cheap much? I’d have rather had holiday wrap. Even as a child.

Turns out there is no plan for tomorrow either. I was originally working all day, 12-9… I told Richard I was moving my shift, but he forgot and assumed I’d just be at work. So he asked me what the plan was!? I think he’s taking me to our usual little Mexican place for dinner, since that is what I told him I expected. At least, anyway. No plan for my birthday! Not even a stand-by! Has this happened to you? So now I am having to wake up for an ugly 7 AM start time, with no reason. No dinner plan. Nada. I wish I had kept my 12-9. At least I could’ve slept in.

I fucking hate December. [/self centerd bitch-fest]

tagged: work richard holiday tired lesbian birthday parents december ew holidays   sour, bitter, and jaded.

daniel · the wee hours · 12 comments · ping it

Okay, this has nothing to do with the holiday. I realize this. However, doesn’t it remind you about how thankful you are to have eyes? Let’s take a moment, shall we? *sigh* This man has the dp.com seal of approval. (I think that would make a great tattoo, don’t you? Like my signature on an ass. Cabbage Patch-ish only pornier.)

You knew we were voting, right?! We are. For the new face crotch MAN of Armani A|X! There is no other choice! Wait, actually there is. There’s the guy clearly missing ribs. He’s not that cute. Ew. Then there’s the shaved headed guy. He’s hawt in that come-and-do-me kinda way… Ooh er! Come on tho! Ryan is clearly the hawtest, total package kinda guy. He has hair, a great face, all his ribs (I have a friend that counted), and the mystery of the less revealing black briefs. Exciting! So you have to take 2.2 seconds to register. Don’t you want pretty ads in your magazines? Go vote! 

tagged: holiday hawt people pretty ew crotch face vote nipples package

daniel · the wee hours · say it · ping it

Richard is watching a graphic documentary about leprosy. OMG. 

tagged: richard ew leprosy documentary

daniel · the wee hours · say it · ping it

It was a long day at the work. I am a bit tired and moody. It is also very hot. I am sweating.

I am hot, moist, tired, and bitchy. Yuck.

We are also having a very embarrassing problem. I almost don’t want to discuss it. But I have too. It is vexing me. We have bugs up in our house. Or had?

Bugs! Fleas actually. Noticed them about a week and a half ago. Actually they were hard to miss as they were eating me alive. Flea bites are ugly too! Here we are in shorts season and my legs are covered in sores. Anyhoo, we properly freaked out and sprayed in the house and outside as well as chemicaled the cats. Seemed to make them fleas angry and a few survivors sought higher ground, namely my bed. So we freaked out some more. I laundered the sheets on the hottest settings possible, vacuumed everything, sprayed everything, and vacuumed again. We wondered where they were coming from… The cats? The outside? work? Couldn’t figure it out. Just as well, as it seemed to have passed. Until tonight. I felt something on my leg, looked down, and saw a flea. Dammit! I have no new bites, thank gawd.

So here I go spraying some more poison about the office. Richard thinks they are pretty much confined to this area right now. I, however, am pretty sure they might come home on my socks from work. Or Richard’s. Or both. We work with the filthy public all day in an enclosed carpeted place. I know that I have seen fleas at work. The brazen little things were on the top of a frequently used desk. Bastards! The bugs hop onboard and commute home with us to their doom. This house has to be pretty toxic to a variety of insects at this point.

Ew. I have to go shower now. And seep. I go back into my bug-infested place of employment at oh five hundred hours yo. (Is that 5 AM? I meant 5 AM...) I am wearing the OFF instead of cologne tomorrow. 

tagged: work tired cats bitchy hot ew sweaty fleas bites bug spray

daniel · evening · say it · ping it