Some of the kids working for me are really observant. They watch me. I don’t know why, but they have been trying to decipher my faces and reactions to things. The scary part is that they are getting good at it. They know when I am stressed. They know when I am upset. I think they have pinned down intimidated too. Weird, because I am so ‘Stepford’ at work. I put on expressions and moods as needed. The fact that these kids can see the moments in between scares me a bit. I mean, they are really paying attention! Why? Why do I merit such studying? Do I do ‘fake’ really well, so they watch closer to see the reactions they’d expect? I am pretty sure they think they ‘know’ me. They get more upset if I discipline them than they do with other leaders in the building. Weird.

But still, why? This has haunted me through most of my management career. I am the one that ‘motivates people to do things’. That’s what helped me move up. But people working for me take criticism from me more personally than they do other leaders. Thus the car keying, and other such things. Somehow getting into trouble is worse when it’s from me. Retaliation is common, and I do actually think twice before writing up an associate. I can’t afford new a paint job every year, or the increase in insurance! I still wonder why. Have y’all had people in your life that were in a leadership role that you found it harder to take criticism or leadership from? What made it seem personal? Why did you feel so connected to care so much what they thought? 

tagged: work people kids stepford leadership moods management