I missed my mother’s birthday. I feel just awful. You see, I had arranged for a flower delivery for yesterday. I was waiting all morning for my surprised mother to call and tell me how excited she was. She never called. I figured maybe she was at work during the delivery. When she gets home she’ll call. Um. Nope. No call. Strange, but I was at work myself so I got busy and forgot. It was when I got home that I got the message on my answering machine. Not my mother, as I had expected. It was the customer service center from 1-800-Flowers telling me that they were unable to deliver. No reason, no excuse. Just “Sorry we were unable to deliver. Would you like us to deliver tomorrow or cancel.” WTF? Well, being that we have now missed the birthday, the flowers were MORE important! Shit! I hadn’t even sent a card, cause I knew I was sending flowers.

The next message was from some other guy at 1-800-Flowers asking me to call him at once. I did, and there was a bit more sincerity as he apologized. But still. The day is over. You missed it. You suck! But the delivery should happen tomorrow, and apparently there will be some note letting my mom know that it was their fault that the order was late. Beh.

I called mom next to explain what happened. Sure, it ruins the surprise, but my father had sent a nasty email because she had thought we all forgot her birthday! Yep! She just thinks I forgot, and sent them THAT DAY. They better remember to put that damn note on there…. I feel awful!

And here we are the next day. What is it, 2:30 in Florida? She hasn’t called to tell me she got them yet… Next time I think I’ll use FTD. It is FTD right? Or is that the feminine spray? Hmm. I should Google.

tagged: mom birthday surprise delivery florist 1-800-flowers ftd

So I was over at Doublecool.com where Todd had posted an old Juice Newton number from the YouTube. This of course led to an hour of YouTube surfing. That always happens to me. One click, and I am stuck. Anyway, I eventually made it to some Olivia Newton-John. Namely, the theme song/video from Twist of Fate. I remember going to see this movie the weekend it opened. My brother and I (and possibly a neighbor kid) had to drive over to the next town to the biggest movie theater around. Oddly, it had a dirt parking lot. I don’t remember the plot much. I’ll have to rent it again to have that come flooding back. I do remember we had candy and popcorn. I remember having a lot of fun hanging out with mom. I also remember thinking the movie was amazing. I remember thinking John Travolta was beautiful.

I soon had the soundtrack in my walkman and listed to the song Twist of Fate over and over and over. Cause that’s what I did when I liked a song back then. Heh. I still do that now. Repeat is my favorite button on my CD player…

Anyhoo, this brought back memories, so I thought I’d share it.

tagged: you tube mom movies doublecool.com juice newton olivia newton-john twist of fate Olivia Newton-John - Twist of Fate    

Today I got this kinda silly email from my mother. One of those lists of things we all think but don’t say so it’s supposed to be funny. But then at the end it has that damn ‘send to so many people…’ I would never forward stuff like that! How the hell does that work anyway? What do you think happens? Here’s the email:

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time…. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3. When people say “Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too”. Damn right! What good is cake if you can’t eat it?

4. When people say “it’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you’ve found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they Gonna Kick their asses!

5.  When people say while watching a film “did you see that?”. No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6.  People who ask “Can I ask you a question?”.... Didn’t really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7.  When something is ‘new and improved!’ Which is it? If it’s new, then there has never been anything before it. If it’s an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn’t be new.

8.  When people say “life is short”. What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that’s longer?

9.  When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks “Has the bus come yet?”. If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

*** Forward this to at least 5 people and see what comes on your screen, you will laugh your head off!!!!!!! This works. I don’t know how…

tagged: mom email chain letter 9 things

We are running low on milk this morning. Really low. I did have enough for my coffee and cereal at least. But it reminded me…

When my brother and I were young and we were running low on milk we’d still get cereal for breakfast. However we were not aloud to drink the milk at the end. We had to save it so my mother could put it in her coffee.

Is that weird? That seems weird to me. And a bit gross. Heh.

tagged: mom breakfast brother milk fine

My mom of all people sent this little joke:

Are you missing a 710 ??? Yesterday I was having some work done at the car dealer. A blonde woman came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. They all looked at each other, and the Mechanic asked, “What is a seven-hundred-ten?” She replied, “You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine. I lost it and need a new one. It had always been there.” The mechanic gave the woman a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had the hood up and asked, “Is there a 710 on this car?” She pointed and said, “Of course, it’s right there.” Click here to learn the identity of the mysterious 710:

tagged: mom email joke 710

I was trying to get all my documents together to get a passport for my trip. I know you don’t need one for Mexico, but it would be good to have one. So I called my mom to see about my birth certificate. Umm, apparently she lost it at some point.

What??

I think that hurts my feelings.

tagged: mom mexico feelings birth certificate