The scary thing about body odor is that I don’t think you can smell your own. I was at the gym. Doing my cardio and minding my own business when it hit me. Pure sweaty stank and garlic. I guess the AC had shut off cause I was stuck in a cloud. I had nowhere to go. There are only two of my favorite machines in the cardio room. Miss stank was on the other one. You know this type of thing has happened to me before. Why me?

The sad part is she had no idea. Makes me wonder how often I might stink. I like to think I have better hygiene than that, but I guess sometimes you don’t know.

tagged: gym hygene body odor

It is amazing what you can squeeze into a day off if you wake up a little earlier. Who knew? Well, as nice as it was to get a lot done I don’t think I’ll be popping out of bed and racing out of the house as my new routine.

So my first task of the day was a trip to the gym. I had a great workout and a sultry wink from a cute alterna-chick! Fantastic!

Then I had to shower and race off to the dentist. Now I used to love going to the dentist. I always love having lick-able clean teeth. But this past year has been hard. Since when does the scraping pick thing plug in and vibrate? I causes me pain! I think my dental hygienist was making fun of me in the back room. I had requested that she scrape my teeth the old fashioned way. At least I survived the ordeal with no cavities.

The next stop on the list was a hair cut. I hate getting my haircut. I’ve been to the same little man three times now. The first two times he did a great job. This time we had some sort of fallout in our communication. It came out so short. Literally. I literally have no hair. I guess I won’t need a hair cut before Mexico!

Last stop: The grocery.

All in all a successful day. (Yes, I am a little link-happy today.)

tagged: gym hair mexico dentist

I love it when I wake up early enough to get my crap done before work… It makes me feel good. But that could be because I’ve been at the gym lately. Remember those commercials where the guy felt like a tiger inside? That’s me.

tagged: gym exercise roar

Have you been exercising beyond your level of fitness,  dear Capricorn? If you have, you’re probably feeling very tired, sore, and out of sorts. Take it easy today, even if you don’t want to. You can still exercise, but for now concentrate on yoga and tai chi rather than more strenuous programs such as aerobic dancing. Remember: push yourself a little, but not too much. The idea of “no pain, no gain” is a fallacy.

Clearly my stars were off today. I have not been consistant about my workouts in two months. I haven’t seen the inside of the gym in a week. But you never know, so I followed instructions and “took it easy”. Today was my Sunday after all (retail hours). The most strenuous task of the day was darting off to the grocery with Richard.

tagged: richard gym horroscope

Okay, I’m at the gym, just doin’ my cardio thing. This lil’ gym sleeze gets on the machine next to me… You all know the type. Fully did up with the hair going on, a ton of make-up. I mean really, doesn’t it drip into your eyes when you sweat? So she was hardly wearing anything, and really working it on the machine. Any way, we’re just doing our thing, and suddenly I hear a little “TooT” for her way. Clearly it was her, cause the gal on the other side heard it too. She just kept on going. No “excuse me” or anything.

So now I’ve got my gym towel over my nose. All the machines were taken, so I had no escape. The other gal was trying not to laugh. Sleezy finally went away. (presumably to the restroom…) I was so happy when a friend from work took that stairmaster. What if she came back?

tagged: gym fart poop sleeze

So this holiday season was so tiring, I have not been to the gym in like two months. I forgot how fun it was! I gathered up my old iPod and drove over around 1:30, and managed to stay two hours! i did my “beach workout (ironic cause I don’t like to go to the beach), which consists of chest, shoulders, abs, and biceps. It was fun cause I was listening to self-motivating songs like I Wanna Be A Supermodel by Jill Sobule, Barbie Girl from the album Aquarium by Aqua, Electric Barberella from the album Duran Duran Greatest by Duran Duran, and The Ketchup Song (Asereje) (Album Version) by LAS KETCHUP. All crazy fun oldies! Go iPod! The best part is they all played from random shuffle. I think my iPod is gay.

I was also surprised how many of those gay muscle boys still checked me out, even though I’ve put on a few… I still got it, I guess! Right before I left I heard The Wrong Fag To Fuck With from the album Dirty Gay Hits by Jonny McGovern. Too funny! Oh well, time to hit the shower.
tagged: holiday music gym barbie gay pimp