Please stop in and give some love to my friend ::jozjozjoz::. She is going through a rough time right now…

Joz, take care. I am so sorry you are going through this. Hope things get better for you and your dad soon.

daniel · late at night · say it · ping it

I was going to look around for an interesting link or two tonight but I let myself get distracted. Yes. I was totally sucked in to the retro-licious Aqua video Barbie Girl. It’s okay though. I am feeling funky… So a funky post seems about right. I am in this weird defeatist place today. Everything makes me react with a whatever or I don’t care or an I give up. Maybe I’ll avoid any sort of decision making for right now, eh?

daniel · early evening · say it · ping it

One year ago today we found out for sure that we were moving to San Diego. Huh. I cannot believe it’s been so long already. Kinda weird. Last year I spent all of December alone. And I recall all of this readily due to the miracle of my blog. Now not only are we here in San Diego together WITH JOBS, but we are living in an actual house! Sure, there’s drama attached, but still. We have a lot to be thankful for.

Wow. I feel all sappy inside! One minute I’m all depressed, now I’m all thankful and junk. Where did I leave those Happy Pills? 

  Hole - Violet    

daniel · the wee hours · 1 comment · ping it

I don’t know. This year has got me down. Didn’t last year too? I think so. I’ll have to check the archives… As always during holiday, I hate my job. That’s not new. I have been very excited this time about Thanksgiving. I had the meal all planned out, including the turkey. I had dug out the recipe when Richard asked the question. Who are we planning all this food for? Umm. Yeah.

No one. My family is thousands of miles away for the first time in my life. My precious few friends are hundreds of miles away. As for my new friends, well… I’ve not really made any. Well, I have. Just not in actual person, or local. So I guess I need to downsize my plans. I’m like Martha in jail with a half-assed holiday.

But my chapstick smells like chocolate. Yay.

  Danny Elfman - Veruca Salt    

daniel · the wee hours · 4 comments · ping it

Life is not perfect. A good job with decent money, a boyfriend of seven years, and all the gadgets I’ve ever wanted do not equal happiness. I have to accept that I am depressed. I have zero motivation. No desire to socialize. I am either at work or, well, busy with housework or on the computer trying to blog/comment/and all, yet I got nothing. I know the move had something to do with it. I never really wanted to leave San Mateo. Not that the thought of San Diego wasn’t fun. It was. But I was already depressed then. I was probably looking for something to jolt me out of it. Well moving was not the answer. I feel a little trapped now. I don’t know any people. I am far away from my family for the first time, and I never knew how much strength I got from them till now. Especially my mother. Sometimes I want to go home.

But there are things that are better. Well one thing. My job. There’s sooo much less stress. I guess that’s good because I don’t think I could cope with all that now. Ack! I am usually much stronger than this. To the point of being cold and “stuck up”. Now I feel weak and tired. And lonely.

I should call my mom and tell her I miss her.

  Gwen Stefani - What You Waiting For?    

daniel · late evening · 8 comments · ping it

How do you know? Are there signs? I suppose I could just Google it…. All I know is that I have not felt very motivated the last two days. I haven’t even made my bed. I always make the bed. It’s taking me a long time to get anything started. I still have so much to do too! I guess the place doesn’t need to be totally spotless when we leave. We didn’t have to put up any deposit, so there’s not one to get back… I don’t know. It’s just not like me to leave things unfinished. And it’s not just getting things done. This week has been lousy in all areas. I haven’t gone to the gym. I haven’t seen my friends. I haven’t seen my family. I am moving. Forever. I should be racing around trying to do as much as I can before I go!

At least I made it to my appointments today. The hair is cut, and I am done with my creepy stylist! Today he was petting my head. He was acting like he was brushing away hairs but I totally swear he was caressing…. Freak! The dentist was a little nerve wracking. He spent an overly long time contemplating my x-rays. It’s an open office with exam areas divided by partitions and the woman next door was having some heavy, constant drilling. The sound, the waiting, and the contemplation of the x-rays really got me on edge. Luckily enough, no cavities! The woman next door continued to get drilled throughout my cleaning. Poor thing. The dentist was new to my office and really cute, so that was nice.

  Cyndi Lauper - Time After Time    

daniel · early evening · 2 comments · ping it