I cannot believe I went out and bought holiday ornaments already. It really is early, but I really want a better tree this year. A different looking tree. I figure with all of the hours Richard and I will be working we’d better come home to something gorgeous each day! We do have a nice fake tree too, if I didn’t destroy it. You may remember we are coming up on the anniversary of the armed robbery at my former employers’. I was held at gun point. It was the day after Christmas. The day after I endured that I put away every piece of holiday in my house and violently scrubbed each room from top to bottom. You know, to release some pent up energy for being in that situation on the 26th. So I have to remember as I unpack things that I may have caused some damage due to the way I took it all down.

I think that pending anniversary, and my upcoming subpoena to go back into court due to it are taking their toll on me. I have been really all about trying to make the seasons changing very pronounced in my home with all my fall crap I put out. I have been very tense at work. I am moody and have nightmares. The time apart from Richard due to our work schedules doesn’t help. Even when we are home together we are on two different schedules. One’s early, one’s late. He’s exhausted, I am up half the night. Then we trade. Early - late, early - late.

But other than all that life is good. Really good actually. I just need to get a grip. This whole post was supposed to be about something else, but as a good friend reminded me tonight, sometimes it’s better to let the dark out. So there. I let some out.

 meh

daniel · the wee hours · 2 comments · ping it