from the iPhone

Day 2 of our 5 day mini-vacation a success!

from the iPhone

from the iPhone

I am still finding glitter. @#%$!!! I hate, hate, HATE glitter!! I am spotting tiny damn sparkles as I walk around the house. I try to pick it up every time I spy a piece. It’s driving me mad. I hate the glitter ornaments! I always swear that I won’t use them but every year I put them on the tree… Not to mention the awful glitter holiday cards. I had to open my mother’s card over the trash can there was so much glitter! And hers wasn’t the only one… (no offense to glitter card-senders but really? so much glitter?) There was so much glitter in this house, and I cleaned all through the month…

The war is on. I will now have to vacuum and swiffer every day. 

I have actually met him (Fred is a friend of his) and he is just as beautiful in reality. He is also a very nice guy, which I imagine is kinda rare in “gay-celeb” land.. So Happy Birthday Reichen!

from the iPhone

from the iPhone

So there you go. A paragraph. Proof that I am *still alive*.

from the iPhone

Anyhoo, a bit later my good friend Fred reminded me of one version that I do enjoy… I posted this last year, remember?

from the iPhone

And so there we were, in the middle of our “training” session. You see, I had been reading this book that I picked up… “Cat Training in 10 Minutes”. We have had limited success, but enough that I had a bit of hope. I want a well trained cat. One that you just trust. Right? But tonight training was not going well. In fact she was a total rebel in all regards. Richard had told me that she gets like this, but I have never seen it. Little Versace is my baby! She can do no wrong!

But tonight she was terrible. Awful. I was losing my patience! I was… Well *she* was on my last gay nerve and I was gonna explode! She was even unresponsive to her “training”, where usually it goes pretty smooth. She is very smart after all. Anyhoo, so there we were, a soggy chip on the floor and a very naughty kitten. I cleaned up. I scooped up Versace and we went to another room where I could shut the door and eliminate distractions. She still wouldn’t behave. I decided to try a trick Richard taught me. I picked her up and flipped her on her back. I tried to calm her. She fought. I held her in place as best I could and continued. I told her she doesn’t always get her way. did she understand me? No, of course, but in my body language I think yes. After the clawing and fighting she settled at last. I eventually put her down. After a few minutes of pouting (she always pouts!) we had the best training ever and are again BFF’s.

*phew*

In non-cat news I also purposefully pissed off a grocery store clerk today. I know, I am awful. Going straight to hell. Sure. I get it. But the woman was retarded! Look. I was next. All that there was in front of me were these two dudes with like 3 things. Golden. So I waited. Dude #1’s card was declined. He then slowly counted out all the cash in his pockets. Not enough. So then his buddy emptied *his* pockets. After counting, and the recounting (BTW this was the “Express Lane") they were still 84 cents short. So dude #2 says he’ll go to the car and get the rest. WTF? So Dude one tells the clerk to go ahead and “void” the transaction and let us pay. “Oh no”, she says. “Then I’ll have to get a manager to do the void, and just to re-ring you when you get back. No way. Y’all go ahead.”

Again. WTF? Is this woman for real? So she holds up the (only) express line so dumb and dumber can go dig in their car for nickels. So I say something rude as she “apologizes” even tho we all know she has instigated the whole thing to avoid doing a *void*. “This is why I never shop at Von’s” I say. An honest remark. We have complained all the way to regional level with no results. The SoCal Safeway Co. clearly is way different than NoCal. Anyhoo. She snaps back at me. Rudely, of course, but I was not nice and expected a challenge. I was pissed. “But y’all keep on coming back!” She then told me to gather up my things and wait on check-stand #1 because she had called for back-up. I didn’t move, which was good because as expected no one came up. Even after she herself screeched into the overhead. After like an eternity dumb and dumber had found enough pennies in the car to pay and I was finally rung up. Miss Thing at the register and I bickered some more. Dude. I hate that store. It’s always the same. I am a manager in a customer service field and I cannot, will not tolerate stupidity, poor training, AND rudeness all in one transaction! But I feel bad for being so awful. But she was clearly an idiot! But I have guilt.

Gah!