insanity
October 03, 2009
Silence
They say silence is golden. I agree.
However, the only way for me to get silence in my head is to complete tasks. That is one thing about my mild OCD that no one gets. Until I complete certain things I can’t really relax. Let’s say there is a list in my head of things to do each day. If I miss something it moves to the next days list. I can hear the list in my head all day. For example I know that on Thursdays I change the bed. I have to change the bed on Thursdays. That’s just how it is. If I can’t, for whatever reason, that task adds to another day’s list and that day’s list gets louder in my head because there is too much on it. Does that make any sense? It’s a bit more literal than the *actual* chatterings of my OCD brain as I see it, but pretty accurate as far as explanation. The only difference is a lot of what I feel compelled to do is autopilot. I automatically sweep kitty litter and vacuum the stairs everyday when I get home. I swiffer furniture on certain days, ect… I don’t have to normally tie it to a day. Whatever. The list scenario works. Now that you know I’m a nut-job, here’s the point…
It was expressed to me that the last time Richard’s mother visited she felt she couldn’t touch anything when I am around. I may be miss quoting or making stuff up (as I am oft accused) but that was my impression. So I have been making a CONSCIOUS effort to be less… cleaning up after anyone moves. It is making me crazy! My brain is SCREAMING at me every second I am home about STUFF I NEED TO DO!! I am miserable in my own house. I don’t want to look at it, sit in it, be in it UNTIL I FEEL CAUGHT UP!!
But I can’t get caught up without time alone. And yes I know in my head that Richard is doing his best to keep things as we like them. I do. And I appreciate it more than I have told him.
BUT HE FORGETS MY TOUCH OF THE CRAZY!
It’s only a week (and a day, grr!) We will all survive the Mother In Law visit. Hopefully our relationship will too. But I am taking some mental health hits over here… I need to wash the floor, wash every towel, vacuum all surfaces, and bleach things. Sorry.
December 30, 2008
Sparkle Panic
I vacuumed the tree mess, ejected all holiday from the house, dusted, wiped, scrubbed, and polished. I vacuumed the entire house three times and swfffered the wood floor countless more times. This place should be *spotless*.
I am still finding glitter. @#%$!!! I hate, hate, HATE glitter!! I am spotting tiny damn sparkles as I walk around the house. I try to pick it up every time I spy a piece. It’s driving me mad. I hate the glitter ornaments! I always swear that I won’t use them but every year I put them on the tree… Not to mention the awful glitter holiday cards. I had to open my mother’s card over the trash can there was so much glitter! And hers wasn’t the only one… (no offense to glitter card-senders but really? so much glitter?) There was so much glitter in this house, and I cleaned all through the month…
The war is on. I will now have to vacuum and swiffer every day.
December 06, 2008
El Gato Diablo (And Other Gripes)
1. el gato diablo
1. the cat devil
2. nitnelav
do not mess with el gato diablo
And so there we were, in the middle of our “training” session. You see, I had been reading this book that I picked up… “Cat Training in 10 Minutes”. We have had limited success, but enough that I had a bit of hope. I want a well trained cat. One that you just trust. Right? But tonight training was not going well. In fact she was a total rebel in all regards. Richard had told me that she gets like this, but I have never seen it. Little Versace is my baby! She can do no wrong!
But tonight she was terrible. Awful. I was losing my patience! I was… Well *she* was on my last gay nerve and I was gonna explode! She was even unresponsive to her “training”, where usually it goes pretty smooth. She is very smart after all. Anyhoo, so there we were, a soggy chip on the floor and a very naughty kitten. I cleaned up. I scooped up Versace and we went to another room where I could shut the door and eliminate distractions. She still wouldn’t behave. I decided to try a trick Richard taught me. I picked her up and flipped her on her back. I tried to calm her. She fought. I held her in place as best I could and continued. I told her she doesn’t always get her way. did she understand me? No, of course, but in my body language I think yes. After the clawing and fighting she settled at last. I eventually put her down. After a few minutes of pouting (she always pouts!) we had the best training ever and are again BFF’s.
*phew*
In non-cat news I also purposefully pissed off a grocery store clerk today. I know, I am awful. Going straight to hell. Sure. I get it. But the woman was retarded! Look. I was next. All that there was in front of me were these two dudes with like 3 things. Golden. So I waited. Dude #1’s card was declined. He then slowly counted out all the cash in his pockets. Not enough. So then his buddy emptied *his* pockets. After counting, and the recounting (BTW this was the “Express Lane”) they were still 84 cents short. So dude #2 says he’ll go to the car and get the rest. WTF? So Dude one tells the clerk to go ahead and “void” the transaction and let us pay. “Oh no”, she says. “Then I’ll have to get a manager to do the void, and just to re-ring you when you get back. No way. Y’all go ahead.”
Again. WTF? Is this woman for real? So she holds up the (only) express line so dumb and dumber can go dig in their car for nickels. So I say something rude as she “apologizes” even tho we all know she has instigated the whole thing to avoid doing a *void*. “This is why I never shop at Von’s” I say. An honest remark. We have complained all the way to regional level with no results. The SoCal Safeway Co. clearly is way different than NoCal. Anyhoo. She snaps back at me. Rudely, of course, but I was not nice and expected a challenge. I was pissed. “But y’all keep on coming back!” She then told me to gather up my things and wait on check-stand #1 because she had called for back-up. I didn’t move, which was good because as expected no one came up. Even after she herself screeched into the overhead. After like an eternity dumb and dumber had found enough pennies in the car to pay and I was finally rung up. Miss Thing at the register and I bickered some more. Dude. I hate that store. It’s always the same. I am a manager in a customer service field and I cannot, will not tolerate stupidity, poor training, AND rudeness all in one transaction! But I feel bad for being so awful. But she was clearly an idiot! But I have guilt.
Gah!
November 11, 2008
Best Blog Of The Week
I have to tell you, I am TOTALLY becoming “that cat guy”. I can’t even help myself. First, I am taking Claritin daily because I am allergic to cats. Why do I suddenly need medication after 12 years of living with cats? What’s changed? Well, I snuggle with a cat now. Every chance I get. I used to avoid touching them. Also, see my new favorite blog: Moderncat Somebody stop me.
I actually have almost justified buying this little item in my mind. Really. Automated AND stylish. What more could I want??
(See what I mean? I am TOTALLY becoming that guy!)
September 20, 2008
2.5 Hours
OMG. My parents will be here in San Diego, IN my house in just a few hours.
I think I am ready. Well, kinda ready. I mean, I put fresh sheets on the guest bed, cleaned, polished, scrubbed, vacuumed, and otherwise freshened the entire house. Richard trimmed the backyard to tropical perfection. The house is as ready as it will ever be. But… Am I?
I haven’t seen my parents in a year and a half. We get along great. I miss them a lot. However, there is always that nagging feeling that I will be judged. I hate that feeling. Last time they both told me I was fat. Nice, right? Well I have lost a few pounds, so maybe that won’t come up. Hopefully they won’t think we spent to much money in the nearly 3 years since they’ve been out. Hopefully my mother won’t be critical of our friends. Meh. It’s all probably a non-issue. They really are good people. But these are the things in my head. It’s my parents. They give me stress, That’s normal right?
Speaking of all my friends, I met them all through this blog that my parents know nothing about. How the hell do I juggle the conversations if I introduce them to people? As soon as I turn my back Mom will ask “So how do you know Dan and Richard?”. So?? What do I do? Ask all my friends to lie? Really?
Oi vey. So much to stress out about.
August 27, 2008
And Then
Okay, so it was Sunday morning. I had been out a bit to late, but was up early and feeling pretty good. I was opening at work and was due in by 6. I got myself showered, fed, dressed, and smelling good all with a minimal of fuss. I even made a lunch! Richard was ready earlier and headed out the door, even tho we were both due at our respective jobs at the same time. It wasn’t a carpool day, so I was lagging about 5 minutes behind him. I finally made it down stairs and was at the door balancing my man-bag, waters, lunch, and phone all at once. I opened the door to the garage to put on my shoes that are always sitting just outside that door. As I slipped on the second shoe I lost my balance.
Time stopped.
It was in slow motion that I caught myself and heard the door click shut.
Shut.
And locked.
“This can’t be happening” I thought. I blinked. I tried the door. Locked. I shook my head and tried it again. Harder. Locked.
I was in my garage with my man-bag, waters, lunch, and my phone. I had no keys. My car was locked. I was locked out out of the house. My keys were just inside. I panicked.
You see, even tho this had happened before (to Richard, not ME!!) we had no spare key tucked away. I tried everything I could think of to “break-in”... Not being a pro at that I had no luck. There was no way any of my credit cards were gonna pop the lock. I tried 2 of them, so I know! I was also trying to call Richard. He was not far and could’ve turned around. Well at first. But with each passing moment that he didn’t answer he was further and further away. So I went to plan.. erm… C. Yes, plan C at tis point. I have everyone’s number from my job! Who could I call at 5:20 in the morning? Who could save me?
As I went down the list it slowly occurred to me. I had only one option that could get to my store and let the staff in on time. My boss. So after dreading it and trying with renewed desperation to credit card the door open for 10 minutes I called him. Yes he was up. Yes he would open and wait for me. And he laughed at me the whole time. I was so embarrassed. Ugh. I explained that I had to get ahold of Richard to get him to come back home. He was fine with waiting. He was still laughing. I died a little on the inside.
So after Richard got all the way to work he had to turn around and let me in to get my keys so I could go to work. I was only a half an hour late in all, but humiliated. We now have emergency procedures in place should such an event occur again.
May 20, 2008
OMG Twitter Is Down
Twitter is down people! Twitter is DOWN! Now what are we gonna do for 2 hours at midnight… Huh? WHATAREWEGONNADONOW??
Okay, nobody panic. It’ll be… Fine. It will be fine.
OMG! Twitter!!! *panics*
May 15, 2008
Things Learned At 3 AM #197
Apparently a lot of email comes in at this time. Like daily mailings and newsletters and such.
Fascinating.
